Grrr! Banks!

I hate dealing with banks. If you don’t hate dealing with banks I dare you to take the BNTC banking challenge. First, open a regular bank account. This should take one afternoon. Then decide to move to a foreign country and learn that your bank does not offer international monetary transfers. Open another account with a bank that does offer international transfers.  This should take another afternoon.

Okay, that was step one. Step two is a little more involved.

Now that you have your home country bank accounts set up, move to a foreign country. Open another account. Live there for about a year. Move back to the first country but keep your savings in the foreign account so that you can get a visa to work in the foreign country. Three months after leaving the country, once you have received your visa, decide not to move back to the foreign country. Attempt to redeem the money you have saved in the foreign account. Jump through the various hoops the home and foreign banks seem to have invented so that you will never see your money again. Finally get your money transfered to your home country. This will take about three more months.

Do you hate banking yet? Don’t worry, there’s still time to change your mind.

Step three. Move to another state. Try to close out one of your home country accounts and transfer all of your money into a bank in the new state. This will surprisingly take at least one phone call per day (minimum 20 minutes on hold per call) for about two weeks. When all of your money is finally in the new account, set up automatic bill payments. This will shockingly take a week  and will include about fifteen calls to various banks and at least three trips to the local branch. Now that everything is set up. Sit back and relax knowing that everything is under control.

Still don’t hate banking? Well, just wait until step four!

Step four. About a week before all of your bills are due, realize that your online account is now showing up as inactive. Call the bank about a hundred times. Get told different things every time you call. Wait for the people from the hotline to work out the problem (they say it will take a couple of days). Get back online a couple of days later and realize that your account still isn’t active and your bills are due in two days. Go to the branch to find out what’s going on. When you get to the branch, sit there and watch the branch manager make the same calls to the same hotline you were calling and two hours later have him tell you that there was a “glitch in the system.”

Now do you hate banking?!!! Oh wait there’s more!!

This was just your personal bank account. You haven’t even started your business bank account yet. Do it all again! And this time, with gusto!!!

If you can complete the BNTC banking challenge and not hate banks when you are done (in a year and a half!) you are a more heavily sedated person that I. Aren’t you special!

Speaking of money…check out our new fundraising campaign:

Help BNTC move to Austin


The Brand New Theatre Co. is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of The Brand New Theatre Co. must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.

2 responses to “Grrr! Banks!

  1. Banks are definitely < fun. 😦

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